Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You
by Spiffy Da WonderSheep
Summary: This is primarily funny, but there's a romantic b/s element. Be warned. Song challengefic.


Disclaimer: No demon cats or eardrums were harmed in the making of this episode... oh, wait, you know what I mean.  
  
Author's Note: Shaitan comes from my fic 'Spike's Pet'. This was a challenge songfic, What would Spike serenade Buffy with? Of course, I had to twist it around a bit, I'm not a real big b/s 'shipper, but I'm a incurable romantic. Shout out to the BC&S gang!  
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A dark form paced behind the tree in front of Buffy's house on a warm spring Sunnydale night. A lighter flicked on and Spike's face is illuminated as he lights another cigarette. He glanced up to the second floor, then glanced quickly away. Another form, this one smaller and low to the ground, tears across the street and stops near Spike's feet. Spike looks down and says offhand, "Thanks, Shaitan."   
  
The cat yowled in reply, and then takes off into the bushes to find another small rodent to murder and bring back to its master.   
  
Spike once again glances at the window. He knows she's home, he'd trailed her back after she finished patrolling the graveyard. He'd seen the light go on in her bedroom, and then turn off again. She was probably in the shower, he kept telling himself nervously.  
  
Suddenly, the lights in her room come on again. Spike flung the butt away from himself and took a deep breath, steeling himself for what he'd come to do. He walked out from under the tree into the light filtering down from the window, so she'd be sure to see him, and began.  
  
You're just too good to be true  
Can't take my eyes off of you  
  
Immediatley, he heard a voice say, "What the hell?" Buffy's blonde head appears at the window. Her hair's wrapped in a towel, and she's wearing sweats.  
  
You'd be like heaven to touch  
I wanna hold you so much  
At long last love has arrived  
And I thank God I'm alive  
  
"Spike," she said, as pointedly as any stake in her arsenal, "What part of 'undead' don't you understand? You're not alive."  
  
"Would you let me finish the bloody song?"  
  
"No. You're going to wake the neighbors."  
  
Spike gave her a dirty look, and then started singing again.  
  
At long last love has arrived  
And I thank God I'm... kind of alive  
You're just too good to be true  
Can't take my eyes off of you  
  
Buffy gave a groan of indignation and disappeared back inside. Spike continued on doggedly.  
  
Pardon the way that I stare  
There's nothing else to compare  
The sight of you leaves me weak  
There are no words left to speak  
So if you feel like I feel  
Please let me know that it's real  
You're just too good to be true  
Can't take my eyes off of you  
  
Something flew out the window and hit him on the head. "Ow! Bloody hell!" He reached down and picked up the stiletto heel. He checked himself for scalp lacerations, and taking a deep breath, launched into the chorus.  
  
I love you baby and if it's quite all right  
I need you baby to warm the lonely nights  
I love you baby, trust in me when I say  
Oh pretty baby, don't bring me down I pray  
Oh pretty baby, now that I've found you stay  
And let me love you baby, let me love you   
  
He spent most of the chorus dodging the various missiles Buffy hurled at him. Crosses, holy water vials, textbooks, stakes, hair care products, hangars, maces, and other miscellanea flew through the air. After he dodged the framed picture of Joyce and Dawn, the projectiles seemed to have stopped, so he stood directly under the window and belted out the last line with his eyes closed.  
  
*~THWACK!~*  
  
"I can't believe I missed!" Buffy yelled, as Spike opened his eyes and saw her standing in the window, her wet blonde hair framing her face, her hands already turning to reload the crossbow. He dodged behind the tree and continued, albeit a bit shakily.  
  
You're just too good to be true  
Can't take my eyes off of you  
You'd be like heaven to touch  
I wanna hold you so much  
  
Buffy looses a few more quarrels into the tree, and then all goes silent. Spike sneaks a peek around from behind the tree, but she's disappeared from view.   
  
At long last love has arrived  
And I thank God I'm alive  
  
The front door flies open and Buffy comes storming out brandishing Mr. Pointy. Spike, however, grabs his weapons from their hiding place behind the tree and drops to one knee.  
  
You're just too good to be true  
Can't take my eyes off of you  
  
The bouquet of two dozen roses he presents to her with his left hand barely slows her, just long enough for her to knock them out of his hands and into the gutter. Spike, ready for this eventuality, brings his right hand out from behind his back, and presents her with a five pound box of Godiva chocolates. He pauses in his singing just long enough to say, "Go on, take them."  
  
I love you baby, and if it's quite all right  
I need you baby to warm the lonely nights  
I love you baby, trust in me when I say  
  
Buffy pauses, Mr. Pointy poised to shut up the singing menace. Could it be a trick? Are they bespelled? She slowly lowers Mr. Pointy and cautiously takes the box. Suddenly she spins on her heels and marches back into the house, slamming the door in Spike's face.  
  
Oh pretty baby, don't bring me down I pray  
Oh pretty baby, now that I've found you stay   
and let me love you baby, let me love you  
  
Spike shrugs and turns towards the street. "It's a start, at least."  
  
The End  
  
Please remember to spay and neuter your demon cats.  
"Can't Take My Eyes Off of You" by B. Gaudio / B. Crewe  
  



End file.
